12 miles / 19 km bike ride by Stick_Shift at Garmin Connect - Details

12 miles / 19 km bike ride by Stick_Shift at Garmin Connect - Details

My Grand Golden Year

I am in Houston, Texas, USA.

Last November 2014 was my 50th year alive.  Until November 2015 I am still celebrating the Golden year of my life.

I said to myself that my blog should present the bounteous moments that has happened without me expecting, knowing and realizing that  "I am exactly where I am meant to be".

I never really thought that I will be able to come here.  My brother has been here in Houston for almost 18 years.  Everyone in the family have gone here and visited during those years, except me.

Life begins @ 50, after all.

Earthquake and Shaky me

331 days... I am counting...

It has been a happy journey for almost a year and with the earthquake in Nepal...I  also became shaky on the ground.    I might not be where I am meant to be. I might want to leave where I am.

And it happened...I am making another decision that I hope will bring me to where I really belong...I have not really erased Handicap International in my profile, heart and mind.  And it seems that this turn-around is leading me back to this.

I am so sad to see thousands of people in Nepal  in grief.  I know the depth.  My confusion and sadness is not a quarter of the feelings they have.  I should respect time.  I should wait.

skipping 2014

My 50th is a roller coaster ride of emotions.  Events that evoked too much pain and happiness were overwhelmingly given to me from January to December.

I promise to write again.  Intending to review the 50th year of my life. Gaining and losing was the theme.

Have to get back reading

Who moved my cheese?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change in Your Work in your life.

I finished reading the book.

I also finished " Why Men Love Bitches."

Well not bad for one day.

Trying to review some other  books also.  "Writing with Power".  I read this before and I wonder how I finished it, when i always stop every chapter.  Kinda boring.

Jobless for 2014 to Care for Mom

Feeling jobless!

I think I needed this freedom. I like the time spent with my family. No worries?

I do worry.  Got bills to pay. I was thinking of separating from my family.  All the jobs I am interested with are all away from home.

Where are the people who asked me to work with them?  I do not know.  

I am waiting though.

That is what I have written before I went to take care of Nanay in Manila last January 16.  Now I know the reason that I did not express my intent to a job for Handicap International.  Now I know that I have to rush to Manila because Nanay was in the hospital.  Now I understand that I have to be there on my Nanay's deathbed.  

February 6 - my mother died.

Choosing to Be Well for 2014

Just got back from a short walk.  While I was walking, I had all my thoughts running from my bills to my career, to my husband , and its crazy.  I am supposed to walk to make me see things in another light.  I feel lighter though, physically.

Now I am back home and I have to write what I have gained from that short walk.  I want to live by the moment.  When I was walking and thought of my grandson having a great time playing with his bike on the path that I was walking, I felt some longing and sadness came suddenly.

Or I can choose to think of the happy moments we had together on that same path and look forward to see him soon.

I thought of my relationship with my husband, which is so complicated at least for me.  I do not know  who will understand me, but I am questioning myself, what am I doing in this marriage?

Or I can choose to think of my grown-up kids.  All through these years,  it is my love for them that was the only  "consistent" feeling.  But they are not involved in the word "marriage".

I thought of my work.  I have to find one.

Or I can choose to wait and be patient.  And sit down to find one.

2013 gave me so much blessings and I acknowledged only 2 persons in this world, who made my world turn around...turn about...and they will always remain in my heart, forever.

2014 I am looking forward for a better me in a marriage.  I am looking forward for my children to decide what is "life" for them.  And my grandchildren to be happy.

I thought those were just simple wishes.  Hard to get.