getting focused

I felt bad not being able to write in my blog for two days. But sometimes I wonder, why is it that I write here anyway. I do not know of a specific reason really but after watching a movie "Julia and Julie" (whichever comes first) I thought I just wanted to have something done. I think I also wanted to write in this blog to hone my writing skills for the novel I am writing. The novel is more challenging because it is a whole lot of organizing my thoughts and "writing even if I do not like yet". I think writing a book is a discipline that I wanted to acquire specifically.

It is also my brain which I really wanted to have focus. If you want me to describe how I think, it could be so sporadic. There are awfully lots of "pop-outs" in my mind even when I am resting. And even when I am doing something , ideas (sometimes I think, great) just pops-out and if I am not able to write it down, it would just go down the drain.

Oh my God, I really, really wish I could focus.

Sometimes I am amused with myself but most of the time keep me thinking that I needed some help. Help could be, I should finish that book. It helps me sit calmly and think. I should finish what I have started. That is for Rule number 1.

And because I get bored with one activity for such long hours, I have to take a deep breath and calmly talk to myself about not leaving it. Stay put. For Rule number 2.

I really hate rules, but sometimes I should honor it by bending a bit.