I will deliver

Posing just before feeling bad yesterday.

I have been in this job for more than 2 years now.  Have I done well?  Have I contributed well enough?

I have to.  I will contribute. I will deliver.

a kiss

been feeling bad since yesterday...

that is how i am whenever I was not able to deliver well what i have to...

sometimes I think I am loved coz when I was so down...

I was surprised by my grandson's arrival...that kiss gave me more reason to move on...

my poem

I actually wrote this years ago.  i wrote  for someone and I happen to be feeling that same feeling years ago.

UNDEFINED

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another attempt to poetry

thoughts of you run fondly
but finding its way nowhere else

thoughts settle down now
cling deeply somewhere else

Rather find its way
to the depths of the heart of my soul!

practicing emotions

i promised myself to practice dealing with different emotions everyday. 

 i sometimes dare myself to be able to jump from one moment of sadness, boredom to being excited, "lol" moments and crying.  Craziness for some but it makes a person go through some kind of  "quick response" to any situation that toughens the psche. 

I remember this event when I got caught in a bad moment and have to cope with it in a party.  I felt bad to hurt a friend.  And I did not know that I actually hurt him.  Sometimes I just wanted to "shut up".  

for someone

Manuel Bandeira and the River:

Be like the river that overflowed
Silent in the night
Do not fear the darkness of night
If there are stars in the sky, reflect on them
And if the heavens are full of clouds
It is as the river, the clouds are water
I thought of them too without sorrow
And felt the depths of calm.

the fly

during the meditation class, I saw this video.  it is silent. short.

i realized how silence can make chaos looks controlled.

i want this discipline in my life.

meditation

 I had a wonderful night the other day.  I went to a meditation session and had a night of fulfillment and emptying myself.

Fulfillment because I finished a full 30 minute meditation.  My mind often jumps from one thought to another and the meditation helped my mind relax.

Emptying my brains was like pouring all thoughts (good and bad) down the drain.  The shake was good for my body and soul.