Friday, January 10, 2014

Have to get back reading

Who moved my cheese?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change in Your Work in your life.

I finished reading the book.

I also finished " Why Men Love Bitches."

Well not bad for one day.

Trying to review some other  books also.  "Writing with Power".  I read this before and I wonder how I finished it, when i always stop every chapter.  Kinda boring.



Friday, January 3, 2014

Jobless for 2014 to Care for Mom

Feeling jobless!

I think I needed this freedom. I like the time spent with my family. No worries?

I do worry.  Got bills to pay. I was thinking of separating from my family.  All the jobs I am interested with are all away from home.

Where are the people who asked me to work with them?  I do not know.  

I am waiting though.


That is what I have written before I went to take care of Nanay in Manila last January 16.  Now I know the reason that I did not express my intent to a job for Handicap International.  Now I know that I have to rush to Manila because Nanay was in the hospital.  Now I understand that I have to be there on my Nanay's deathbed.  

February 6 - my mother died.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Choosing to Be Well for 2014

Just got back from a short walk.  While I was walking, I had all my thoughts running from my bills to my career, to my husband , and its crazy.  I am supposed to walk to make me see things in another light.  I feel lighter though, physically.

Now I am back home and I have to write what I have gained from that short walk.  I want to live by the moment.  When I was walking and thought of my grandson having a great time playing with his bike on the path that I was walking, I felt some longing and sadness came suddenly.

Or I can choose to think of the happy moments we had together on that same path and look forward to see him soon.

I thought of my relationship with my husband, which is so complicated at least for me.  I do not know  who will understand me, but I am questioning myself, what am I doing in this marriage?

Or I can choose to think of my grown-up kids.  All through these years,  it is my love for them that was the only  "consistent" feeling.  But they are not involved in the word "marriage".

I thought of my work.  I have to find one.

Or I can choose to wait and be patient.  And sit down to find one.

2013 gave me so much blessings and I acknowledged only 2 persons in this world, who made my world turn around...turn about...and they will always remain in my heart, forever.

2014 I am looking forward for a better me in a marriage.  I am looking forward for my children to decide what is "life" for them.  And my grandchildren to be happy.

I thought those were just simple wishes.  Hard to get.