suppossedly my house

That house of my boss gives me an eerie-feeling that if I am to afford one, that would exactly be the house that I will be buying.

no visitors

I did not have any visitors in my blog lately?

Sometimes I like it...because I like this space to be mine alone.

Sometimes its lonely because I am alone here.

committed

Commitment

I have given my word to my former employer.  Last June 22, I do not know what the stars are telling me but with the 3 hours meeting, I am back.

I have lots of issues with the company but with the meeting I hope all will be refined when I come back.

I said something before that, I usually do not go back to my employers...I think I am in another roller coaster ride.


I pray...that after I come back all the things that were settled be given and hope that I will be protected too...I think basically its the only thing an employee is looking forward to - to an employer.

refreshing

One of my friends who makes me laugh is Koi.  His presence make me young again and he always take pictures.  So when I am with him, I oftentimes get lots of documentation of my day's activities. There was no work yesterday and again having spent time with Koi and visitors of my children was "refreshing".

I am a Filipino!

Independence Day!

It was the Philippines' Independence Day  and was home with a friend and my children.  We were watching this noontime show and I was treated to Filipino songs that was sang by comedians...the first time I saw them sing seriously.

Ako ay Pilipino  and Ang Bayan ko...have always been favorite songs and made me sing and feel my love for the country. 

just me for today

I want to be alone today!

Far from everyone...my blog is so quiet and this is my refuge.

For a while I wanted to stop making money because I think all of my effort to make one is going nowhere.  I always thought that money just go round and round but until when?

For a while I wanted to just stop working.  I do not know how crazy this is but how can I have such a limited  view of the world if it is just working that I intend to do with my life.

For a while I wanted to stop to be a mother or wife...

I just want to be me and this space...

all issues settled down

I have been going around for about two weeks to our clients and I was struck with some rumors that "I will be back" to Kamla.

Wow, sounds interesting that I am caught between explaining and also somehow feeling grateful to the people who makes me feel important.  I felt that  this other part of my interest is like... "preparing for my return?"

It is not easy to decide.  I wanted to be impartial to my decision.    I think I will have a sound decision around November.  When everything settles here in my job.

And when every issue I have with myself is settled.

on fire

yesterday was delightful...
that slight touch ran through me...
when your eyes met mine...it was wonderful...
all doubts were thrown away...
i love the sweet mention of angie...coming from your mouth.

meeting again and again

i do not know why i can easily enter into someone else's world.  i think i am not normal. for those who do not know me thinks i am "plastic".  i think i am emphatic than that term.  yesterday in a meeting, when  a person talks i feel i am inside the person.  I may agree or not with the person talking but it seems like i get vacuumed in.

how i wish, meetings could be more on talking about feelings and not judging.

crying from the heart

What does it take for a mother to understand a child?

I feel so much pain...I thought I do not understand my son for some moment.  I am so frustrated. 

I just have to cry.  I cannot say anything.

another commotion

i am sad that so many issues and concerns are not so well addressed.  last week at the office, this commotion made me think how fragile the environment is until now. how I wish all will have the effort to understand the maze in the puzzle.

i just want to be silent.  i do not want to feel something.

John Maxwell said " a difficult time can be more readily endured if we retain the conviction that our existence holds a purpose, a cause to pursue, a person to love, a goal to achieve"

Making that work needs each one's effort to set aside that ego.