Just got back from a short walk. While I was walking, I had all my thoughts running from my bills to my career, to my husband , and its crazy. I am supposed to walk to make me see things in another light. I feel lighter though, physically.
Now I am back home and I have to write what I have gained from that short walk. I want to live by the moment. When I was walking and thought of my grandson having a great time playing with his bike on the path that I was walking, I felt some longing and sadness came suddenly.
Or I can choose to think of the happy moments we had together on that same path and look forward to see him soon.
I thought of my relationship with my husband, which is so complicated at least for me. I do not know who will understand me, but I am questioning myself, what am I doing in this marriage?
Or I can choose to think of my grown-up kids. All through these years, it is my love for them that was the only "consistent" feeling. But they are not involved in the word "marriage".
I thought of my work. I have to find one.
Or I can choose to wait and be patient. And sit down to find one.
2013 gave me so much blessings and I acknowledged only 2 persons in this world, who made my world turn around...turn about...and they will always remain in my heart, forever.
2014 I am looking forward for a better me in a marriage. I am looking forward for my children to decide what is "life" for them. And my grandchildren to be happy.
I thought those were just simple wishes. Hard to get.
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