how to love him more

Having my husband back was so very complex.

When I saw him in the airport wearing this big hat like a cowboy and the brown shades covering his face, I was not ohhhh so longing at all with him. I was unapproachable to him and I feel so guilty why I did not even pretend to be happy to see him.

I am not a bitch. But I really wished not to see him because I still remember how I have thrown tantrums and insults to him the last time he was here.

I wanted myself to heal. I have written this a hundred times and I really hope, my husband was a bastard to deserve the way I treat him.

He is such a good man. I think I am good too for sticking out with him. My only difference with him is I express my disgust and dislike proudly and he does not.

I hope marriage will teach me how to love him more.