mirror on the wall

I would like to be the best Nana this world could ever produce!

When everything else seems so wrong, I only have to pull-out some strength from my grandson, Baby Zak. He could have some tantrums but it does not stop me from cuddling this sweet little creature!

That mirror on the wall is one of his favorites! When I carry him and look at our images - he will show off his very best smile!

the worst boss(es)

Of course, I was not able to blog yesterday.

Something happened in the office that troubled me. Two of the staff had a fight and I can't believe that they have thrown accusations with each other that I think are very unnecessary.

The most challenging actually that I have to deal are the attitudes and behavior in the office. It is terrible that "people who keep on pointing at each other as bossy" are actually the people who are bossy and not mindful of others.

I have I think 3 of them who are the best bossy and yet they do not realize it.

Bossy # 1 - Someone who complains that the other one is bossy when he/she deep inside is bursting with "wanting to do what he/she thinks is right, when the work is wrong". The funny thing is that "when asked to repeat the work he/she would snub, would vibrate anger terribly that he/she would want to tell everyone that he/she is better than the rest of the world and the one in authority. And the most insensitive being and he/she thinks he/she is the smartest ever. Help him/her Oh God!

I just really hope that he/she does not make mistakes too often to save his/her face because he/she does not accept mistakes.

Bossy # 2 - Someone who is obviously bossy in voice and in actions but he/she cannot accept that he/she is like that. He/she gets hurt when accused of.

Bossy # 3- Someone who is not obviously bossy because he/she manifests as quiet but really have that "bursting bossy feeling" inside.

It is terrible that they do not seem to realize that "they are" whom they think the others are to them. Pointing fingers to one another when they cannot see themselves from the eyes of the others.

It is not bad to be bossy when one is the boss.

What is bad is when at the start of your career, you are not showing the discipline of "how to be a good follower". Because if one does not know how to follow, he/she would end up the worst boss ever".

To them, I hope they somehow and someday realize that.

scorpions

That's me and that little scorpio inside the glass!

We are connected in many ways because my zodiac sign is Scorpio. I sting also. But not as dangerous as that arachnid.

This is my moment. I have to seize what I can seize!

Today I had a heavy toll but again tested my powers har har har. I am kinda tired so I will write about it tomorrow.

Cheers to the Scorpions!

fried peanuts

I went out for field work today. The most fun part of going out is when I drive. Many times before I always said that "driving is a therapy" for me. The fun thing when I am driving is when I have someone whom I can throw jokes and candidly talk about just anything else.

Or have my favorite music played. When I sing out loud. And have my favorite fried peanut with me. Today, I bought fried peanuts in a bus terminal and I did not expect how good it tasted.

Well there are some that taste like "hell" in that I could puke.

But this one, I regretted buying only 4 slim plastic packs worth php 20.00.

Because it was one of the best tasting peanuts from an unlikely place.

Now I am asking the relevance of these peanuts with my wellness.

Maybe because this is "food for the brain" and I don't want to lose my memory yet. Or maybe because for sometime I stopped eating this because I was afraid that it would trigger a pimple outbursts on my face. And now that I have aged, pimples are not likely to come out on my face.

I think because these peanuts keep me awake when I really feel so drowsy while driving. Or so many reasons I can think of.

But most of all because these peanuts even for its insignificance made me feel good today!

Of course, you can’t unfry an egg,
but there is no law against thinking about it.
by don harold

you make me complete

When I first saw Tom Cruise said "You complete me" in a movie, I thought it was so romantic. But today, I think it is one grand crazy thought.

"Why can't I be complete without a man by my side? It is crazy because there is no way one can reach-out for completeness from someone else, except yourself".

That is what I told my friend last night. That was with reference to our conversation about love lost, leaving the marriage and husband, relationship issues that really is getting on my nerves because I have not got the guts to leave my husband. The same way as two of my friends did recently.

And I was referring also to my other friend who even inside marriage have been hopping from one man to another hoping to see where her "completeness" could be.

So I said to myself "Angie you can make yourself complete without any accessory of other people" (loved or not).

Just keep on loving and living.

spending and saving

I just came home. I came from the wake of my friend's father.

But I am surprised that I was not into mourning even if I got all the provocations of a grand emotional download. Well because I was with my former boss and co-workers.

I am at ease with them because we have been together for many years. And the last time I saw my boss since I left the organization was in the year 2007. But there was a time when I saw him walking outside the store that I called him up to see me in my new world. That was recent.

It would be unfair to compare him with my new boss because they are two perspectives apart.

I often say this..."With my former boss, I have to think of many ways to spend our money, but with my new boss, I have to think many ways to save".

Today when I saw my boss, I missed him. He is fun to be with because he is very expressive. I always knew what he likes or what he does not like.

I am fond of my new boss, but I fear that I might not be making him happy. Because he is not so expressive.

Ohhh so different disciplines.

Only from the heart Can you touch the sky.

Rumi, Jalal-Uddin on Love

Kahlil Gibran on Love

Kahlil Gibran on Love

I am into Kahlil again. Just before I retire for the night.

It has been my habit to read poetry but with my busy schedule, I was not able to do it for the last 7 months I have been working.

I deserve this bliss.

Today is mine

Holy Planetrium!

My horoscope says that. Because the stars are with me today namely the sun, moon, venus and mars! I am not sure how all these planets will influence my daily needs but there is not much problem with me if everything goes great today!

Sometimes I just feel tired of feeling positive but I guess its more tiring to feel bad about everything and everyone.

Have a great day everyone!

Life in the Graveyard

Love possesses nothing and does not want to be possessed, because it is enough in itself. by Khalil Gibran [1883-1931]

The last time I quoted Khalil Gibran was when my father was about to die. I did not know yet (or was in denial that time) that he was going, but now I realized that indeed - I was "face to face" with death that night. The next day he did die.

I went to my grandmother's graveyard early today. I realized how interesting it is to see all the other tombstones with their birthdays and "deathdays" written on it. And one realizes again that "life indeed is too short". The "hypen" in between the dates made life that short.

When I was walking, it made me wonder "how will my own tombstone look like". I do not feel creepy at all when I think about it. But maybe when I am near my death, I would know.

Khalil's poems always wake- up my emotions.

new face

a change of template could mean a lot...

let me see how I go with my favorite cup of coffee in my new template...

what is bothering me? nothing to write...

I visited the lazy artist's blog and saw Antas...I think he gained weight...

I am excited to tell my boss something on Monday...

I got Achie's email...

I sent pictures to Celin and Kaikai...

And again, I have to confirm again and again that

I am exactly where I am...

ha ha ha ha

exactly where I am meant to be

For so many moments in my life I always asked, if this is where I am supposed to be.

Today, when I was asking again...

I came across a message saying that ...

I am exactly where I am meant to be...

be good at keeping a low profile

I read that yesterday from the news. It was something that Deng Xiaoping of China said. Oh I am not sure really of the spelling but those words he said struck me.

That I have to be good at being one. But I am one (har har har).

Being low profile have such a different " face" with me.

I really thought of myself as shy and inassertive for such a long time. And I wonder why some people around me thinks otherwise.

I am loud but not arrogant. Thus, Iam often misjudged.

Talking about ones thoughts is being transparent not arrogant. If it is bad, then I got that from bad genes. My father is so direct that when he sees something ugly, bad or not pleasant, he says so. And even if he does not mean more than that, everyone who hears would proclaim that he is arrogant.

But because he is my father, I should know when he is arrogant or not.

So I really know when I get that loud voice and become arrogant and be low profile.

There are people who got soft voice and yet very arrogant in thoughts and deed.

Then I am at equal footing with them by being misjudged.

Feeling fragile and frail

I should not be feeling that way. The last thing that I do not want my children to see from me is being fragile.

I have been just "getting it off me", bad moments that seem to be forever with me. I sometimes feel tired of always saying I am alright when everything else is crumbling down.

I was in a party last week. I should have not gone coz as I have said " I am so ocean deeply depressed because of some issues about economy"...and everyone laughed at what I have said seriously.

And when one friend commented on facebook that I was the "life of the party"...I felt great that even in my deepest loneliness I could still make some friends laugh and happy.

Maybe I should make myself happy too!

Answering back to parents

I did not fully understand the pain of anwering back to a parent until only now that I am a parent myself.

When I was a kid, I do answer every heck of something that is accused of me. I felt then that I have to answer or else I will be at the mercy. Or at least, I have said my piece and its upto them if they are going to hurt me or not.

I thought I am a better parent now, but I still have to say arrrghhhh "not so pleasant things and tone" to my son, Karl. I even used my own death which was so disgusting of me.

My son and I did not talk to each other since we both retire last night. He used to cuddle me a lot but last night he did not.

But today, he was up to embrace me and said "sorry". He is such a good son, but the hell with his mouth whom he cannot control to stop " anwering back at me" that way...He is so like me when I was his age. Grrrrhhhhhhhh!

Tonight with Baby Zak

My grandson is giving me this inner strength I think that makes me going. I have not really understood how a grandparent feels except that I always wanted to hurry back home to have time with him.

My other children are so sometimes jealous but I know they are matured enough to understand.

This feeling I got is nothing else in this world. I could give my last breath to him. The same way I could do for my children.

Eleven Minutes

I have read several books written by Paulo Coelho and "Eleven Minutes" is my favorite. It is fast paced and so real! And this article is I think very helpful to many who have several questions about expressing it (sex)!

As the article below mentions my name, I got it from Google Alerts. It was written by by Parul Tyagi and published in EzineArticles I do believe that the writer is going too far (in my opinion, sex is good because it is good) but I decided to republish it here…

Paulo Coelho’s book titled “Eleven Minutes” suggests that the “act of coming together” just takes about 2-3 minutes, while the remaining 9 minutes are no more than an attempt to reach the “crescendo” when a hormonal discharge provides ecstasy like none other!

Scientists have often debated that sex is extremely beneficial for our health, but the lack of sex in good measures can have negative effects. On the other hand, too much sex can also be harmful; if you indulge in sex for more than 3 times a week, you are exposing yourself to the risk of a weaker immune system as well as vulnerability to infections…

1. The balance of your mental and emotional health is definitely influenced by sex. While abstinence often leads to anxiety or paranoia and even depression…having sex can cure cases of light depressions. After having exercised sex, the brain releases endorphins that decrease stress and induce a wonderful state of euphoria.

2. For all you women, having regular sex means freedom from expensive salon treatments. An excellent beauty treatment, having sex actually doubles the level of estrogen in women and makes their hair shine with brilliance while making their skin supple and softer.

3. And if you want to love longer, then look no further than your own bedroom. According to a research carried out at Queens University in Belfast, Ireland, having regular sex increases the lifespan in humans. It was found that out of the people of the same age and health, those who had more frequent orgasms faced 50% less death rate than who people who didn’t have frequent orgasms.

4. Sex is an excellent deep-cleansing treatment as well. Since sex is a strenuous but enjoyable exercise, when you have sex the pores of your skin are cleansed leaving a brighter and glowing skin as well as decreasing the risk of developing dermatitis.

5. An inexpensive and pleasurable exercise, sex can make you lose weight. When you have sex after a candlelight romantic dinner, not only do you burn all the fat and carbohydrates you consumed, but you also stay healthy at no extra cost! Consider this: A single session of passionate, mind-blowing sex (even regular sex) can burn about 200 calories. This is equivalent to running for 15 minutes on a treadmill!

6. Ladies, if you like you man to have bulging biceps then have sex more often. Sex is a great way to strengthen muscles. Imagine the effort made by your man through those difficult pushes and flexions! Of course, it all depends on the stunts in your bed…but it’s definitely better than running for miles on miles.

7. Did you know that the more active your sex life, the more attractive and irresistible you become for the opposite sex? Really! An active sex life means that your body gets into the habit of releasing more pheromones, chemicals that attract all those gorgeous, luscious women! No wonder Casanova was so popular!

8. Sex can sharpen your senses; especially enhance your sense of smell. After sex, prolactin is released that activates the stem cells in the brain to form new neurons in the olfactory bulb. This helps to improve your sense of smell.

9. A pain reliever, sex is TEN times more effective than painkillers such as Valium. Just before orgasm, the hormone oxytocin’s level rises almost 5 times, leading to release of large amount of endorphins. Endorphins are natural painkillers and relieve you of pain, minor headaches, and migraines without any after effects. Next time your lady has a headache, treat her with a vigorous session of lovemaking rather than a Valium.

10. We all know that dentists’ bills can blow you off, but nothing can blow you like a good, deep French kiss! The act of Kissing stimulates salivation, which helps clean food particles stuck between the teeth and lowers the acidity level in your mouth. This is the primary cause of tooth decay. So kiss all you want, after all it’s a great excuse!

So my dear friends, sex is not just good for the mind, the body, but the wallet as well!

Beyond Opticals

Yeaterday my friendwas here to visit. It has been a long time so I was excited to see him.

I showed him our newsletter and he suggested to give it a name. Something that I have been delaying also because I have been busy in the store.

But because he is around and he really gives direct comments I thougt it was the right time.

I thought of "Beyond Opticals". With the caption "Monthly newsletter that captures the essence of people beyond work".

I think , I love it.

getting sentimental and confused

Last night I really did not have time to get sentimental. I forgive myself for being one because it is the only way I can release some issues I cannot seem to express.

My husband called up the first time last night. I have not been pleasant with him.

It was good to talk to him about our children. He keeps on holding on to this marriage.

Maybe we can just stay like that. No one will ever understand me.

No one will.