snow in May

I have another favorite niece. Well, they all are but in different ways. But this one is the eldest among them andI have really seen her progressed from Day 1 till now. I am fond of my nieces because I was not blessed with any daughters. I think they are here (in my heart) to fill-in that deprivation.

Thea Francheska seemed to be the ideal daughter because she is another soul who could easily "read my mind". Whenever we catch each other on Skype it would always be one hilarious chat! Alright sometimes, melodramatic too. I was kidding them earlier how could they have played with my emotions today, the last day of May. Well we were laughing out loudly one moment and crying next. Get serious a bit and tease each other again!

We cried talking about the death of my father. I thought talking about it after so many months would lessen the intensity of grief but tonight, I felt it was almost the same pain I have felt last February when he died.

So my niece supplied us with those pictures that indeed amused me and my sister. And the next minute we were laughing again. Oh my that was exhausting!

Tonight, we also made fun of how and why (on earth) am I not able to set foot in that faraway great land called the United States of America. Well I wonder why too? I should be working -out my chakras, mantras, spells, etc. and bless the people who are responsible for that US Visa in order for me to at least touch that snow in the picture.

But sometimes I also stop and think, do I really have to go to the US? Well I always think that if something is meant for me then it would be mine even without exerting too much effort! Amen!

The picture above was taken by my niece when she went to Minneapolis last year. She said she wrote it because there was snow there. It would be really silly to write it down, if she were here in the Philippines because there is nothing here. I love her for thinking the same way as I am! Har har har.

Well I would have loved to also see and touch the snow but I am not really sure if I go along with the temperature. I am terrible in cold places! I could really go crazy! But it must really be lovely during the winter. My niece appreciated it, but only for a while she admits.

I guess, we are both tropical in blood and spirit. So when I get to the US, we stay for only 2 days in Minneapolis and run to California! I really have to see the Golden Gate in San Francisco!

Interesting! I think I will feel the exact excitement if I had my itinerary and ticket with me! Ho ho ho ho.

Be blissful then!

under one roof

I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you,
But I can give you the room to change, room to grow,
room to be yourself.
Unknown

I promised my friend not to write about this. But I think otherwise. Friendship could be tested in many ways and the recent experience of living together was an enlightening experience to both of us. I have to share this.

Well, the poem should explain how the experience of living with her in one roof for a couple of days was not such a bad idea. It was the first time I have considered guests in my house because of the limited space. But it turned out to be a happy learning experience for me and my kids who served as hosts to them.

The experience was more than a sleepover or summer camp combined because of the things we both shared together. Our friendship has not gone through yet a major crisis and I am grateful about it. I am amazed though that her children and mine could go along well the same way as we do. It was fun seeing my children play as responsible big brothers to her much younger kids and developed attachment and affection the way natural siblings do.

Our families both adapted to the kind of set-up in a pleasant manner. I guess, it is a matter of respecting each others "boundaries". Their house has undergone renovations so I could feel some pressures from their part. And there is no way that I should add to it!

The fusion should have served both our families one good thing - learning mutually our core family values that should inspire us both to forever hold on to what we should treasure most. And that is our respective families!

Be blissful!

nocturnal bliss (the rejoinder)

I was not able to write some thoughts about the "blue owl" which I posted yesterday.

It was sent by a friend whom I call "the owl". And I asked him if I can post it in my blog. I am happy that it was alright with him and I want to write something about it now.

Because I could not understand the Urdu message he interpreted it as "When the whole world sleeps, I wake up for you". Exactly what the owl does. It sees the beauty of the night when everyone else are asleep.

Well, one of my treasured mode is sleeping. It is the only time that my body really get to rest because when I am awake I always do something and amazingly does not stop until my body calls my attention to "stop". I work like hell too - it is something that I have developed when I started living on my own. I have to do something or I might get into the habit of relying everything else to other people.

So sleep is a reward for myself. It was one message that I have developed as a mantra for my body to adapt to the beauty of sleeping. Sleeping was never a bad experience for me. I am saying this because I have met so many friends who have trouble getting to sleep and even while asleep. That could be tough!

But I understand people who are "nocturnal" in nature. There is much bliss at night the same way that there is during the day. So what I usually tell my friends who have trouble sleeping is to "love that activity". Each and everyone of us have lots of bad associations about "sleep" thus some problems arising about it.

Just think of this - there is too much to bear in this life, getting to sleep is a relief. And time should not matter when you do it as long as you have taught your body to get into a well-rested and pleasant sleep.

Is that right, Mr. Owl?

nocturnal bliss

looking for one best friend from the past

I remembered one good friend back when I was in elementary. Her name is Patricia "Patty" Park. Her mom is a Filipina who was married to an American, thus a foreign- sounding surname. I liked her for her blonde curly locks and pretty face. And she is also a natural charmer. She was so lady-like in many ways even when she is years younger than I was. And I learned my first lessons on being "finesse" from her. But this is fun, hope she reaches my blog so she will know what really struck my mind about her. Patty, in the middle of a play or conversation would pose and sing "Day by Day".

I am writing this because I am wondering where or how she is today. I actually tried locating her through the internet and I am not convinced with the results being given back to me. And I do not have any idea how she looks now and if she is married, obviously Park is no longer her surname.

Our family lived in a 2 bedroom apartment right across Patty's house. When I was in elementary, it really looked huge to me and I loved the interior and exterior of their house. It is in their front yard wherein we play "bahay-bahayan". They have an old and big "kalachuchi" tree where we would set-up our "bahay" or house. Then that tree became witness to all our "role playing" for many years.

My brother happened to drive me to the same place last year and I was shocked that everything else looks so different. Our apartment was still there but without the Santol (fruit) tree in front. Patty's house still exists but without the front yard. It has given way to some commercial space. Oh well, in the name of progress.

I still liked "how it pictured in my mind" from the past.

By the way, Patty got a brother whom I had a crush before. But because he bullys me, I hated him most of the time. His name is Bruce.

I have an odd feeling that Patty and I separated "not" in a nice way. Hope we get to communicate in anyway. I am hoping. I hope she remembers too.

cramming and crumbling

It's been a long time since I really wrote something here.

I hardly had the time to sit and write even with so many things on my mind. My world for the past weeks concentrated on cramming to earn extra bucks for the school needs of my children.

I have not really experienced such a pressure for such a long time but I do realized now that I am in crisis. But I only felt really bad that I am in this condition when my niece came to me desperately in need of help too. Whheeewwww!

It is very quiet in the house at the moment. And this makes me feel like writing. And attracting that energy from the sunshine coming through my window.

Now, just when I thought I am really cramming to be able to cope with the bills and all, I thought of my niece's condition as crumbling. And I sought the attitude behind cramming and crumbling.

I do not know why I chose the adjective "cramming" for what I am going through but I liked it because in a way, it is like facing that pressure. I have to do something about this or if not, nothing will happen.

Because I cannot help my niece financially, I went around to sell stuff from her shop. It was hard but I had the opportunity to visit friends who were prospective buyers and earn some from her wares. I felt good that I am able to sell and earn. It is not big bucks that I earn.

But I learned. I might not be able to earn much but has given my niece some hope that she can still make it. Find ways to "stand up from that dirt and mess".

My niece's world is crumbling. She jitters. She cannot sleep because of the pressures from debts. It must be so very difficult! She has inherited bad debts. And to add more were money wasted resulting from "wrong decisions".

Something that we both sat down and talked about together. She is a fine young woman who does not deserve what she is plunging right into now. But I am glad she is slowly taking some wisdom into those mistakes.

I hope she does not get deeper into the cycle of debts. Not only about money but of anger and pain.

Be blissful!

deserving of the fame and fortune

Charice, is a young Filipina who just deserves the highest praise for bringing such pride to the Philippines. She inspires the young citizens of this country to work hard and go beyond limits in pursuing their dreams. It is not too often that a singer from humble beginnings such as Charice get that opportunity to perform in the lavish world of the United States Music Industry and the whole world.

Her performance in this particular song made me cry. She is remarkable everytime I see her perform. And in spirit I do wish her the strength to sustain the pressure of having that fame and fortune.

Vivaldi's music, sis -in-law on the piano and niece on the violin

When I posted "Proud of my niece" I was such in a hurry. I did not have the time to post some text because I have to leave for an appointment. And I have been feeling bad for not writing anything at all. But I just read something in a book, it says "being regretful is not comforting at all".

So I am not regretting anymore.

Instead, I should say something like - the video could "stand on its own". There are not much words from me to have given it the "soaring". It lifted up my blog and my spirits because I saw in my niece one unfulfilled dream, that is to play a violin. And in the video, I am very happy to hear my sister-in-law, Marilou played the piano again.

When my sisters-in-law and I had the chance to live in one roof together, it was their hands on our piano that filled the air. I especially like waking up on Saturdays and Sundays in our house because our piano would be occupied by them and some friends from the Sta. Isabel College Music Department. I might not have the chance to tell them directly how I am blessed with their music, but in my teasing way has always expressed my appreciation for that "gift". Marlene and Marilou are sisters and both are married to my younger brothers, Kokoy and Omar. All their children are all equally blessed with the gift of "music". My children likewise have that music running through their veins.

Well, my dream of playing the violin is not done yet. It is not exactly unfulfilled yet too. I might still have the time.

proud of my niece

enduring a boxing bout

I have never been a boxing fan before but because my father loves this sport I learned at a young age how this sport is played. But even then, I really do not have the "stomach" for it. I also think those "round girls" are too flirty for such a sport. But that was before. I do not see much round girls in the fights these days.

When I was in elementary, one of the biggest boxing fights in the whole world was held in Manila. That was the Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier's "Thrilla in Manila" in 1975. It made a big fuzz the world over and I thought, boxing really "rocks". But still I did not care. Except that one of my favorite malls then was named after Muhammad Ali. It was the Ali Mall in Cubao.

When I was maturing, I realized that there were many Filipino boxers who made raves in the world of boxing (actually it was only Flash Elorde among the old boxers whom I remember) and I thought, this could be the sport wherein Filipinos could really excel and be proud of. And I was right. Because after some more years, this country produced a boxing sensation with Manny Pacquiao.

It was only when our national pride now, Manny "Pacman" Pacquiao got that so much attention in the international scene through boxing that I endured watching a fight. Look at him fight:

But I see him beyond the fights he wins. What I like most is that he loves the Philippines and always acknowledges his humble being in the face of fierce and over-confident opponents. He inspires millions of Filipinos to be the best in what they have in skills and talent and bring back the glory to the country. He is a modern day hero and hope he does not change his humble ways. I pray that he will not be corrupted by the people around him too. He got some good years in the streets of Davao City. He was here most of the time before especially when he was looking and waiting for some good break in his boxing career. Now, I find time to watch a boxing bout only when "Pacman" fights.

And another thing is, to watch our national anthem sang in the fights. It make s me doubly proud of this country. I am also proud of the many Filipinos abroad who makes this country proud of their achievements. That includes my husband, sister and brother who are doing great with their jobs abroad. Here is one clip of our National Anthem:

Be blissful!

the spirit during odd times

I read the book "Aztec" years ago. Well, I have forgotten the gist of the story but I was amazed at the lives of the early Indians in Mexico. I think they have laid such a fine and solid foundation of the culture that the modern Mexico has today. I love their women who I think got really perfect faces, family customs and traditions, old architectural designs, their music, rhythm and beat, and just the way they are. I happen to write this because I felt sad that their country is having trouble because of the "swine flu".

While I was watching the news earlier today, I have seen the strength of these people in the face of this health problem. Of course, tourists have slowed down in visiting their country but I see a lot of spirit from them. The same spirit and strength of the Aztecs while conquering people and the lands before. Now the land is being conquered by the virus.

I mentioned this because in the said news, a local tourist in one magnificent temple or monument of the past civilization (sorry I forgot the name!) which is a tourist attraction in Mexico, the woman said something like "they could not possibly get the virus in an open air like this".

But anyway, my point is that they have so much reverence to their ancestors and their work even in odd times like these. It is the spirit that will stop the virus and I am glad they do not stop beaming with pride.

Be blissful!

The picture above is explained as "In accordance with their mythology, Huitzilopochtli, the tribal god of the Aztecs, promised to show to its people a place where they should settle and to build its great capital Tenochtitlán. He told them that they had to look for an eagle posed in a cactus, with a snake in the pick. The first codex page Mendoza (a book that counts the history of the Aztecs), it locates the foundation of Tenochtitlán in 1325 or 1345. The City of Mexico is built in the same place.

stumbling on a new soul

One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends discuss but in the number of things they need no longer mention.
quote from Clifton Fadiman

Well, I stumbled on a new soul a few weeks ago and I said to myself that I have to write about this happy experience. With millions of people in this world I sometimes think, there could be some chemistry, physics or even magic to what we all call friendship. Of course there is, but the formula seems to be always a grand complication to understand.

Well maybe just like the constellation, we are all indeed a part of everyone and somehow influence each one of us.

I also did not know how to start writing so I started looking for pictures to inspire my thoughts about my new friend. When I stumbled on the picture (above) which I think is charming, I thought this could symbolize the new found friendship.

Maybe I really just want to salute friendship, today. Friendship is healing too. I remember when I was young, I was always a happy soul in my solitude. Now I realize sharing your time, thoughts, care and genuine affection is better. I get to learn more about life.

And friendship should be developed "inside" marriages, parents and children, siblings, cousins and other affinities in the world. Mainly for all of us to keep on fighting and holding on to that relationship.

But this could be the deal - trust and cast all doubts because in friendship there are imperfections. And looking beyond that imperfection comes the beauty of the connection.

Be blissful!

first of blissful May

I always want to welcome the first day of the month in a positive light! This attitude I believe will help us all get through with another month full of challenges and hope. And faith that "God will provide".

My father could have been 76 years old this month. Last year, he was still strong and healthy when I visited him in Manila. Although he was joking about "death", I did not really expect that it would be his last birthday on earth. He should be most happy where he is now.

What to look forward in May?

Back in the island when I was young, I look forward to the first rain shower in May because it is believed to bring good luck. So there was a time when my friends and I would really wait for that downpour and when it comes, we all l rush out of our houses and play out in the rain. We would dance around, play our outdoor games like "piko" , "patintero" (local street games), "taguan" ( hide and seek) and a lot more. Have you ever felt that mud on your feet? Wonderful!
I feel so attached to nature whenever I feel mud or soil on my feet. And even now that I am an adult, I prefer to walk barefooted most of the time at home. And rush out to the rain! And feel the earth!

Flores de Mayo is a religious ritual. Because this is the time when the flowers bloom, all the kids gather flowers and make bouquets. I remember asking and gathering different kinds of flowers from neighbors and bring it to the Blessed Virgin Mary statue. We go on a procession and all of us little kids have lots of flowers as offering. Then we are given snacks after. The sight of flowers really lifts me up even when I was young. And although I was not aware of the significance of the offertory, what was on my mind was "offering back to God what I was given ". Now that I am an adult, I offer to our creator the most wonderful things that happen to me everyday no matter how trivial they are.

The Santacruzan (festival of the holy cross) is another delight. Well this activity is in commemoration of the finding of the Holy Cross by Queen Helena in Jerusalem. Queen Helena is the mother of Constantine the Great. The procession is gay and colorful and the preetiest ladies in the community was chosen to represent the the various queens and the characters they carry such as Reina Fe (Queen of Faith), Reina Esperanza (Queen of Hope) Reina Caridad (Queen of Charity) and many others. The highlight of course is the Reina Elena (Queen Helena), the queen of all queens.

I was never chosen to be one of the queens. I was an "ugly duckling" they say. I was always on the beach and playing rough with the boys so I was not fit to be one. Oh well, now I see beauty in a different light. Beauty inside and out is what I am working out.

To spoil my bliss a bit, this month too I have to pay the schools because my children are going back to school in June. I have one in college and the other in high school. I want them to have a good life ahead. School is a fun place for learning. They deserve to be in.

And the gorgeous bouquet of mums above is a photo taken by Joliz. I often visit her site just to look at her photographs. She is amazing. Thank you for the flowers that gives me that bliss everyday.

Be blissful!