clinging to a comfort zone

When I thought of glazed bliss for my blog name, foremost in my mind was to have a venue to express my reflections and biases, on the ways and means to get to that two-fold happiness called bliss.

And I am mighty glad that the road to it is unlimited. Depending of course with each person's unique orientations and experiences, all of us can identify "who, what, where, when and how" our kind of bliss is.

I have one weighty comfort zone to share. Yes, he is a "comfort zone" for me.

Joseph "Joe" K. Selvaggio. If you are from Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA, this man's name should "ring a bell" so loudly to you. That name may even go farther around the globe, for all I know. But I should shy away from his grand and endless achievements plus his popularity because those are secondary to what I think is substantial to me- our bonding.

Met him, not by chance, because he is married to my aunt. Technically, he belongs to the family as my American uncle. Not bad. But he seemed to be meek and sober at that time. I do not fairly remember, if I even had a chance to talk to him the first time we met.

By chance, he came over to Davao City, Philippines in 2000. I was surprised myself, when I rushed and gave him my tightest hug ever. I thought later, my welcome gesture was rather so unusual. Because we really do not know each other, even if he was an uncle. I wondered if he was comfortable with such a greeting. But it was amazing that - that kind of gesture was the start of our special bonding.

I know he was not comfortable with our set-up at home, but I observed that he was gamely just enjoying my accommodations. He offered to sleep on the floor and in a very narrow space of the room because he gave up his bed to the other members of the family. I think, it is thoughtful. His stay was quick, but his presence did not cease because he became a part of my everyday life since then.

We shared each others views on so many matters about life and relationships. We talked about books that we read. We discussed endlessly the many "tsismis" (gossips) in the family. He visited (came back to Davao, again). He worked (observed him with the poor and beneficiaries of their charities). We enjoyed special moments with the other members of the family in Manila. Movies were a favorite topic, too. There was a time when we actually watched the same movie (Denzel Washington's "The Great Debaters") at the same time - only that he was in Minneapolis and I was in Davao. I would know where he is in this part of the world, because he sends me postcards. Emails were frequent and as essential as the air we breath. He knew all of my confusions and craziness. And we laughed a lot about his jokes from his "bible of jokes". I knew when he is grumpy. He knew when I was not in the mood (he will call me then as "manic depressive).

My TJ (Tito Joe), as i fondly call him need not be physically near to give me this kind of enlightenment and pleasure. With him, I developed wisdom that has enhanced the way I deal with the many issues of life, love and sex. The many ways we have accomplished happy moments together were all inspiration to my existence. Upsetting ones were as valuable too. All matters to me.

We still get in touch! And I grossly say that, time and space between us is so unfair.