daughters I never had

A HAPPY AND GREAT 2010 TO ALL!!!

With my 2009 disastrous journey, I am still lucky to survive and wrap-up the year with some good things that happened towards the end of that fateful year.

2009 made me closer to both my nieces from the other side of the family. Thea (on the left)) is the daughter of my sister Cristina and Gayle (on the right) is the daughter of my brother-in-law). I often refer to them as "the other niece" when I am talking to one of them. And they have grown accustomed to that "terms of reference".

I was thinking that God has given them to me to be able to exercise rearing females. Would I be so cool to my own daughter the same way as I am to my nieces? Would I be strict to my own daughter? How would I talk to my own daughter?

But because I do not have one, I really do not have to think about that. I already have daughters in the person of my nieces.

It was fun to see them together last December 29.

Now on my first day of 2010, I am kind of expectant for some great things to happen. I woke up late because of the countdown last night but I felt extraordinarily light.

I sincerely wish you all the best for this year!!

Engkwentro won at Venice Film Festival

I am from Davao City. The movie is about Davao's vigilantes. I have not watched the film yet but since it gave honor to the Philippines I am happy about it.

I am a witness to the killings but because I know that these children / young adults do not have lives to live, I would rather see them in their death than living dangerously and giving risks to the good people of this city.

Giving interventions to them seemed futile because they live in such dysfunctional families and murky life with drugs and so very indiscriminate sex. I happen to know at least eight of them.

I see these children peaceful in death than living. I am sorry but if other people get the chance to see how these children live, understand how they think and smell their feelings, you would say they are better-off "six feet below the ground".

I happen to love them too. I have been to their funerals and have cried tears for them but I see light in their death. I see them saved in death.

Christmas lights all over

Can't write. Can't write. Can't write....
Gotta go...

Christmas Threat

My son Angelo got fever two days before Christmas. And for the succeeding two days until Christmas Eve, both of us were in and out of the hospital, more than worried about his platelets count slipping almost below normal. And the fear of dengue fever was there.

I was packing his things for the admission to the hospital when I recalled that almost the same time last year, I was packing mine, to go to my sick father in Manila. So I was not sure what I was feeling, I just want to make sure all my son's needs will be inside that bag. Drive him to the hospital and bring him to the laboratory for the CBC count once more.

Angelo was so scared about getting hospitalized. And his hand swelled and hurt from all those previous blood extractions. I was not thinking of Christmas, I was trying to address all my son's issues about injections and dengue.

But on Christmas Eve he was out of danger.

I was not able to prepare for Christmas because of the incident. But I managed to clean 2 medium- sized milkfish which I stuffed with tomatoes, onions, ginger and garlic. I also marinated pork belly for the children who loves barbeque. While cooking in the front yard, we were on Skpe with my niece Thea and her whole family in Quezon City. I also got to talk with Omar in the US.

My son, Karlsen with the 2 milkfishes on the charcoal.

And here I was so very tired on Christmas Eve!

Christmas shots

Christmas fun

How was your Christmas?

For Christmas 2009 I attended only 1 party. And it was not a Christmas party. It was the birthday of Gaga's (my bestfriend) son Gabriel. She has a big family so there was really a crowd. I brought along my mother and 2 kids who had fun with everyone.

I gulped 2 bottles of beer. Because for some time I was out of alcohol, I was surprisingly tipsy after the two bottles.

I sang lots of songs from the videoke. Danced. Horsed around.

Laughed and talked a lot too. That was my Christmas!

great to be back

dyarannnnn! I am back!

Next month, GLAZEDBLISS will be one year. That angel was glazedbliss when I first wrote for a blog! Oh I am just feeling a little bit sentimental because I was gone for 2 days.

I was gone for me to finish writing something where I earned some bucks he he he! It was badly needed. I am happy that it was given to me. Sometimes I feel God's work by giving me such an opportunity.

I hope that opportunity to write and earn will multiply.

Be with me angel!

Economics and Christmas

Where is the Philippines in the economic standing of all countries in the world? Or maybe Asia?

"We like to stress the point that the Philippines had never entered the recession. Our economic performance though was a deceleration from the strong growth of 4.6 percent in the third quarter of 2008," he added.

Santos said the Philippine economy joined other economies with positive GDP growth in the third quarter.

These countries were China (8.9 percent), Vietnam (5.8 percent), Indonesia (4.2 percent), Singapore (0.6 percent), and South Korea (0.6 percent).

Countries which posted a contraction were Japan (-4.4 percent), Thailand (-2.8 percent), Hong Kong (-2.4 percent), and Malaysia (-1.2 percent).

Overseas Filipinos (OF) remittances boosted gross national product (GNP) growth to 3.5 percent in the third quarter.

Total OF remittances in dollar terms grew by 6.9 percent in the same quarter, which mainly caused the 26.0 percent growth in Net Factor Income from Abroad (NFIA).

The economy’s growth was supported by services (4 percent) and agriculture (1.6 percent). The industry sector still contracted (-4.4 percent), pulled down by manufacturing (-7.6 percent) and utilities (-2.2 percent).

Private consumption was modest at 4 percent while government consumption remained healthy, at 7.9 percent.

Capital formation slumped by 11.3 percent mainly on account of durable equipment (-5.7 percent) and the further drawing down of inventories.

Construction investments remained afloat at 1.7 percent, as the cushioning effect of the stimulus package continued.

External trade growth is improving yet still remains negative at -13.6 percent for total exports.

"Indeed, the global crisis is not over, but the worst is over. We have reasons to be more confident," Santos said.

source: http://www.gov.ph/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2002336&Itemid=2


That is so positive and I want to believe it even if my own economy is so bad. Filipinos just do not appreciate some good things about our country. I hope there will come a time when Filipinos check their lifestyle before cursing the Philippine economy for all their woes.

I started with talks of economy because even if so many Filipinos are complaining of being poor, sometimes I just do not believe it when I see so many people in the malls go "shop till you drop". Simple Mathematics will show that if one shops then there is money to buy. Wherever the money is coming from there is money going around.

I am just an onlooker now. I feel happy when I see rich and poor Filipinos spending endlessly especially on Christmas. Everyone gets gifts, money and food is everywhere. Families have reunions. It feels so wonderful.

I hope every Filipino realizes that even if we are not as rich as other countries in the world, we are at par with happiness. Christmas for Filipinos started last September. Other countries start it later. One Filipino would have attended at least 3 Christmas parties aside from the Christmas Eve gathering. Aren't we the "chosen people", if that is the case?

Let us be positive. Even if we do not understand the economics language let us be joyful for the blessings.

Yes, I have to be joyful on this day.

My President in 2010

Politics is not my turf.

I wanted to put some sense and morals into it even if I know it will never be the future of politics (ever!) here in my country and even in the whole world. But I always wanted to believe that with the people's vigilance, people up there also gets rattled and minimize some of their dirt.

When the Italian Prime Minister was attacked, I felt that he deserved it. When the Ampatuans were summoned and some jailed, I also felt that they deserve more than that. If Hell is somewhere here, I think it is the Palaces and government seats of power.

But I still want to believe that there could be someone that I have to trust to run my country. Power is business and that is the way, countries run. Someone should lead. I want a leader who is strong. I fought Ferdinand Marcos' dictatorship when I was in college. I knew that he abused some of his powers but after him, all of the Presidents even the beloved Corazon Aquino abused that seat. But none of them ran the Philippines like Ferdinand Marcos.

Because he is smart and knows economics. The Philippines is alive because of his intelligence. I want a strong leader like him. And an intelligent one.

Well, I cannot choose Noynoy. Nothing personal but I would love to see him take care of his nephews and nieces better than running the country.

Manny Villar before C5 is credible to me but I agree he got midas touch with his business. He can stay with it and make more money than serve the country. I will feel great to see another Filipino millionaire outside of the Presidential Palace.

Dick Gordon made wonders with Subic. I still admire him but I think I do not want him in the Palace.

The rest of the Presidential candidates, I just cannot stomach. Sometimes I just hate this democratic process wherein everyone who feels like running and winning, do run.

Oh God, I hope this time the Filipinos do make a right choice. Even with my weak heart my mind is headstrong for Gilbert Teodoro. He is perfect for my President. I am just sad that I will send him to Hell - the Presidential Palace. He can fight some evil there.

Lets VOTE GIBO!

Growl Tiger!

For many weeks now, news about Tiger Woods was everywhere. I said to myself I should not write about him. But when he decided for an indefinite leave in golf, that was shocking to me.

I am not his biggest fan. And golf is alien to me. But I saw him in a couple of games he played. And I think he has a gift. But all I know about him is all flitting.

I do not know how it feels to be a celebrity. It could be tough way up there especially when everyone sees when you make a wrong move. Everyone seems to "run" your life. But I believe, celebrities like Tiger should take extra precautions and be responsible in many ways with their actions.

To some extent, people all over the world would want to run your life because they are a part of your millions of dollars in income. Every time one buys a Tiger Woods cap or rubber shoes, he/she feels connected with a Tiger Woods. Nike and other endorsements gave Tiger millions and millions of dollars.

If I was his wife, I might really be very busy with such a "bank reserve" (LOL). I might not hit Tiger with a golf club. I might just be civil with him and take care of my children. I might want to request for 3 more children from him. I might always be busy with some charity works so even if he is busy with 3 or more women, I would still feel complete. I might wait and probably wait until such time he realizes that a wife is always there but mistresses do come and go. Or I will probably flirt with some guys too. But stick to my marriage with the only Tiger Woods in the whole world.

But I think that is a "middle class" thought. Probably wives of celebrities have some other needs.

Tiger Woods come back! Nearly everyone forgets mistakes especially because you are one Tiger Woods.

http://web.tigerwoods.com/index

convergence of birds

I was in my son's school (University of Mindanao) early in the morning last Wednesday. Even if he is in College, I still bring him to school everyday. But today I have to explain about some delays of his documents from a former school so I had a chance to loiter around the Engineering Laboratory Building while waiting for the offices to open.

As I approached the quadrangle in the center, I got excited because I happen to hear birds. "Lots of them", I thought because their sound is all over. I was kind of amazed because "that could be a thousand or more birds up there or probably in a cage. " But I was glad there was no cage. I always have a strange feeling that I have a strong connection with birds. I feel good when there are birds around because it means "safety". If there is no harm for them, the same way it is , with us people. Back home, when it is time to trim my trees, I do it "partly this and partly that" so they will not lose their nests.

I also was not able to write something about my piece on climate change and some ways I can help. I want these birds to multiply and multiply. They are a part of the poetry of life here on earth. If I can help them survive, I also help our Mother Earth.

I recorded the birds sound but of course my celfone did not produce the most clear copy. It did not really do justice to the sound of the birds.




http://www.birds.com/education/research-studies/

the most popular word

I thought of it because even here in the Philippines, Fuck seems to be slowly going through on the mainstream (I meant, it seems to be a normal thing to hear).

When I watch TV, of course this is dominated by American TV shows and I can't believe that it is such a normal word to say when one is screwed/sometimes even not, in a script. The movies (dominated by Americans, again) got the most of my vote. I do not exactly count but at the end of the day, I get fucked-up with hearing the word "fuck" several times usually with American music, TV and movies.

I say, many of their movies are truly great, I just noticed how the word "fuck" and "suck" is everywhere "in" there.

Have you noticed? Even young children just have a poised way of saying it.

Am I complaining? Not exactly, I am more examining than complaining. I myself say that word during times that I am lost for a more obnoxious word.

I love the English vocabulary. This is the second language that I am comfortable with. I cannot even write this straight in my own Filipino language. But sometimes, words like this is so contagious, we might think of how is it affecting a people's culture. Especially the children.

If one person screws-up or make mistakes an average of 15 ( the most conservative number I can think) a day and with a million of people saying it each day, FUCK could be the most popular word in the English vocabulary!

What do you think?

unbreak my heart

I was at the doctors clinic last Tuesday and although I like bringing my children to their doctor for check-up, it is a routine that I hate for myself.

But I have to submit myself for ECG just to check on my heart. I have been so extremely sad for a couple of disasters in my life the past months. And I have to deal with all of those disasters by being so extremely happy. It could have harmed my heart.

For many months now I felt I am always running out of breath. When I am driving, I always try to loosen that seat belt on my chest because I felt so terribly pressed. When I lie down, I have to turn to one side for me to catch some air. There was a time when I have to cough (so hard) for me to sort of catch my breathe.

I am not sickly. My blood pressure is normal. My other laboratories are normal. My body is used to working physically and mentally, because I do get bored when I just sit and stare blankly.

Anyway, I am going to see my doctor tomorrow for her advise. I looked at the result of my ECG and the nurse told me, my heart is pumping below normal.

I was not surprised because I have history.

My niece called today and I told her about my heart.

When she asked how come the family always have some problems with the heart. I jokingly told her "because we are always in love".

I honestly do not know if I am just trying to be "coping" positively. Maybe. Pretty disturbing, yeaahhhh? And I have to slow down.

Help me unbreak my heart.

what were you thinking?

For me to get back to my writing mood, I really have to entertain my thoughts. It will keep on bugging me. Let me just satisfy my outrage about this matter. This is only for a few minutes anyway.

I got the best description of what the "warlord's mind" is thinking about. If there is one thing that I want to do is to go inside a "criminal's mind". How do I think if I was Hitler? What makes me decide to massacre without thinking of the consequences? How do I feel when I gun down people?

Those are questions I wanted to ask any criminal. But the sad thing is that, when the killing is done they no longer hold on to the act and reasons of the killing. They are but excited to jump on to the next killing spree if given another chance.

Criminals think they are right, the way the victims are passionate about being at the right side too.

We really have to be heard! We have to influence the minds of the children that killing is not so right.

Anyway, I got another good point.

What would such a historical/cross-cultural/psychological "warlord study" reveal ? Primarily the type of man that the German journalist Konrad Heiden termed "armed bohemians". Men who are ill-suited to achieving success in an orderly society but are acutely sensitive to minute shifts that they can exploit during times of uncertainty, coupled with an amoral sociopathology to do so ruthlessly. Paranoid and vindictive, they also frequently possess a recklessness akin to bravery and a dramatic sentimentality that charms followers and naive observers alike. Some warlords can manifest a manic energy or regularly display great administrative talents while a minority are little better than half-mad gangsters getting by, for a time, on easy violence, low cunning and lady luck.

Visit the website: http://zenpundit.blogspot.com/2007/11/psychology-of-warlord-kents-imperative.html

no news day

I had a bad habit of listening to BBC news (on tv) while I am about to take a nap ! I was about to snooze when I shifted mood! Not because of the content of the news but because the reporter who was serious talking about the teargas that was thrown to rallyists in Iran was being bugged by a big fly on her face. While she was reporting the news, the fly was so obviously seen jumping from her nose then to her eyes, to her cheeks and I was afraid it would go inside her mouth (almost)!

Oh God that was hilarious!

But I jsut admired the reporter who just kept on reporting. Not once did she tried to shoo away the fly with her hand or move her head so the fly could go. That was great!

How will the whole world feel and accept a news program without any news?

peace be with you

I am presently writing about peace education, building and development. It is kind of challenging to write an analysis and evaluation on it especially because it means writing about people's lives in areas with armed conflicts here in Mindanao.

I have done some really risky work before but reading through raw data is giving me the same terror of being there. Now I have developed some sense of obligation to share about peace. I live in Mindanao and although my city is neutral to all factions who are at war here, I still believe that writing about peace will somehow deepen my advocacy with my friends here. Here is UN's website for more information - http://www.un.org/peace/peacebuilding/

These kind of materials pokes me and remind me of the security I own. Not that much really, but the people who lives in conflict laden lands, have nothing.

Whenever they are given back their homes, most likely they are going to lose it again at another spark of gun battles. When they get some nights of peaceful sleep, they will have more nights of nightmares! But they hope and live. How does one bargain to God for security?

To take a rest from what I am writing about peace, I visited my blog to share peace with my friends here!

Republic of Love

I am kind of occupied with some writing job. You might want to watch this movie that I haven't seen. But basic instinct says, this could be a great movie. Watch it first, then tell me your notes!