slipping away

I have a friend who came by the other night. She really looked weary so I think she needed someone to talk to. She is a frequent visitor because she says she feels relieved and enlightened whenever she talks to me. Since the day I met her, there were countless times that our friendship was tested. And there have been many ways too that we have survived those tests. And my only question about our friendship is that "am I really helping her to help herself"?

I have done counseling ever since I graduated in college, but when I get tired of making a point I sometimes become satirical. Which is what I wanted to lessen because of course not many people adapt to it. So I myself get away from my own selfish thoughts and just have to repeat and redefine matters that should be surfacing and eventually be helpful to her.

There were many times in the past that she has encountered crisis after crisis in life. The worst maybe was two years ago, wherein the effect is still ongoing. I have seen her recover from one tragedy to another and every time there is another one, I had a strangest feeling that there is something more than this pattern. I want to look deeper on the way life is treating her. And on the other hand, the way she is treating life.

I do not get tired of listening and trying to let her understand a sensible point. But it slips away. She slips away into thoughts that would lead her far away from the root problem.

I have seen it many times to myself - when I am deeply troubled, I find ways to cover it up by doing just anything I can for me to escape such a painful feeling. Have seen it to many - who easily point out mistakes, but cannot see their own. Who invest too much effort on discussing matters that are not their own yet they are crumbling from the inside.

She came just to ask about my opinion on some matters. Matters that later after the talk, she realized as far-fetched. As a friend I offer her the best of my ability to rebuild herself. I have not given up on her, but I also want to emphasize that there should be efforts coming from her towards "changing". Is she really willing to rebuild or unwilling to get out of that system? Some people linger into being miserable because they have been there for such a long time they were able to adapt it as a lifestyle. How sad!

Slipping away for some period of time could be helpful but when it is prolonged it becomes alarming.