deserted lane on the other side

When you are caught in a heavy traffic for several minutes and see the deserted lane on the other side, you would wish changing lane!

There seems to be lots of obstruction while I was taking this way yesterday. My son forgot something important for school so I have to run back home, get it and took this way twice in one day!

I felt sentimental about life while in this traffic and maybe brought about by the gloomy weather, too. But life is fair. I believe that. Whenever I get some crucifying moments, likewise come delightful moments!

I have been disturbed by my eldest son lately. I have been crying endlessly. I send him messages every now and then, even if I know he does not want any from me. I do not know the extent of his frustration these days but I hope he also thinks that I get excruciatingly frustrated more, whenever he or any of my children is.

If I could shelter all my children from all the pain in this world, I say I would. If I could only give them all they want, I wish I could. I told him that I can only give him endless unconditional love which I hope could give him strength to survive life. I hope he learns that "not everything we want is given." But we can work hard for it.

Today, I saw my youngest child in a very innocent tender moment with a girl. He was seated next to this girl (his classmate since elementary) and he was tenderly rubbing the arms of the girl. He is fond of doing it to me! "Am I jealous?" I asked myself. He even kisses me on that part of my arms. "Does he ever do it (kiss her arm) to her too?" Ohh crazy thoughts!

Do I want to go to that empty lane in my life? No. The traffic and other obstacles in my life make me a better person, I guess. I have to understand life so that my children understands it too!

Be blissful!