chicken a la carte

It is my privilege to post the "chicken a la carte" film which is on my sidebar. Aside from bagging the first prize in an international competition, it just gave me a deeper experience of being in harmony to what this life could offer or in another perspective, what I could offer in this life that I have.

I do not really have the right to complain!

The film will be a part of my blog for some time to serve as a reminder that we are a part of a society that is hungry. Hungry - not only for food to eat but the genuine drive to offer opportunities to the less fortunate.

I guess, we all have some demands on this life even when life itself could not really be that demanding on us.

Contradictions amass our society - those who can buy food could not even enjoy it. Why? Because of the several distractions that is getting our attention than the real concerns in our lives. I think there are so many things that we could start unloading. On the other hand, the children in the film gave their utmost excitement and genuine happiness in the face of eating leftovers coming from the garbage. Food that are not even fit to feed the dogs in the "First World".

I think our planet has all the resources to feed all the hungry children not only here in the Philippines but all over the world. Is it how we people manage our lives that makes other people hungry?

Let us buy only what we can consume. Or consume what we buy so there will be some left for the others. That could be the least we can contribute.

Because who wouldn't want to see children eat the right kind of food and see from their genuine smiles a promising future?

Be blissful!

the only other girl aside from me

She is our pet. Her name is Pawi.

For such a long time, I was the only female specie here at home. And it felt good to be one. I thought, I was getting just the right kind of attention from my husband and 3 sons. And somehow, I was giving them a dose of having a female around too. I also thought that, that was complimentary because even if I slaved my way in taking care of all their needs, I also get some amount of authority (whoaaah) at home.

Oh well! and when my husband is far away, I almost have an absolute authority so I feel I am the “queen” here. Well, I do not exactly dream of a throne or a kingdom, but I just felt this kind of set-up gives me maybe almost the same esteem (as a queen).

My children grew-up with an orientation leaning more on the feminine side and I saw how natural nurturers they are. Since the day they were all born, we have had countless pets (mostly dogs). In the past we had such scary dogs, 2 Rottweillers (Dagger and Deidre) and a German Shepherd (Walkie) because my brother and father likes those type (for breeding).

I think, I also love pets because I find them irresistible, cuddly and loving. I remember when we (with my brothers and sister ) were very young we had lots, too. The most memorable is “peggy sue” a pig (that was even before “Babe” got on that big screen).

Going back to Pawi, she is a Japanese Spitz. It was my eldest son and his girl who bought the puppy. Pawi used to live with Kristine (the girlfriend) but was given to us last 2005. Although Pawi is so cute, I was alarmed with the thought that she is staying with us for good (only because of her fur). My eldest and youngest have allergies and she’s got a load of hair that could trigger sneezing from my children the whole day and night.

Oh, but because the kids were so insistent, I let them keep her with a couple of “don’ts”. And because my children dote on her, Pawi is the most spoiled little dog in the world (only when my kids are here). She resists training. One rule that I have is that she is not allowed inside the house because she likes it very much “ to pee and poo” inside. She only scampers away and go to her cage when I shout “PPPPPaaaaawwwwwiiiiiiiii, what the hell did you do here”?

She is as “hard headed” as I am, I guess. When my kids are here, she snubs me. She knows she got allies so she does her thing freely. She will have this expression on her face that will make you pity her because she acts as the “poor victim” (always).

But I love her too. There was a period of time wherein both of us were left together alone. It was for 2 months wherein we were kind of sweet to each other. I did not sleep in the room, so we slept together in the sofa bed. I felt that having her around is the same as having my kids beside me.

There was one time when she suddenly jumped -up on me because of the thunder and rain (that scares her so much)and I accidentally kicked her off (har har har). The incident marred our relationship again (but only for a moment).

She is still spoiled. She also got her monthly period now (sometimes the same time as mine). She barks unceasingly to visitors and cats. Catch and tease some mice. Seize some young birds that fall-off from the trees. Ohhh and so on and so forth. But she fears only me here at home.

Well, I sometimes wonder how it is to raise a female child. I think, I know with our little Pawi.

Be blissful!

a hug for you

almost a perfect day

Not much trouble and today was so calm and cool, except for the pain inflicted on me by my father's fighting cock. I thought it was just an ordinary peck but it hurts until now. This is the only one thing that made me uncomfortable today but everything else was almost perfect.

I got to share this poem by Dante:

But you who are so happy here, tell me:
do you aspire to a more profound
insight, or a greater ecstasy?

She smiled a little, as did the shades beside her;
then answered with such gladness that her whole
being seemed to glow with love's first fire:

Brother, God's generosity itself
calms our will, and makes us want no more
than what we have, and long for nothing else.

If we desired any greater bliss,
we would not be in harmony with HIM
whose love assigns us to a lower place.

The essence of this joy is that we all
have given up our personal desires
so that our will is merged with God's own will.

Therefore our rank in heaven, from height to height
is just as dear to each particular soul
as to the Master who appointed it.

In His will is our peace: it is the sea
into which all currents and all streams empty themselves, for all eternity.

the extent of internet affairs

I thought I have to write about this.

The Yahoo Mail, which I thought was the best thing that has happened in the internet was my first exposure. I did enjoy checking my mails everyday. The personal emails from family and friends provides me enjoyment and has become a "hard habit to break".

I did not even care about the links or other web functions that I get to encounter because I thought I am getting all I need from the emails. The Yahoo Messenger was the "next big thing" for me. But because I am not comfortable with "chatting" I did not concentrate on it.

One unpleasant tilt in my life!

It was pleasant during the first try though. I was carrying an advocacy so getting into the chat rooms for a project was meaningful. Well, we have to attract chat room users to go to our website for counseling. We were involved in reproductive and sexual health in relation to HIV/AIDS and study of sexual behaviors is relevant to our work and cause.

Because of the clout of internet users and some sexual activities in the internet this was one area wherein we can expand our services to address the lack of education and information regarding HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections.

I was amazed. For an hour wherein I am supposed to be in the chat room and be the person I am supposed to be playing, is just like playing a role in the theater or movies. It was exciting that I get to explore more of myself in different personages other than I am. It was difficult too because there were levels of pretentions. But because of some goals that I so believe in, I did not think of purposely deceiving because I also give my full genuine concerns.

So, this is how it works here in the internet. Hmmmmmm. The project stayed long, but I have to leave it for another one.

I encountered real-life drama of some counselee regarding internet affairs. I have seen genuine struggles from emotional and psychological challenges of internet relationships in the midst of happy and stable marriages. I too, often quivered at the thought of the level of motivations (happiness or escape) of the people involved. Do we get serious with this, that one could consider leaving one's family for another mate/person in the virtual world? Hmmmmmm!

Going back. I was delighted. I found out that indeed this world could be a venue to gain lots of friends. Who eventually became true friends who got through a process with me. A process because I was no longer playing a role. I was me. And I concluded that there was nothing wrong with being a genuine person in the internet. Of course, I was fully aware of the risks in getting entangled with serious and some (cybersex) relationships. But even then and in the internet, I have high respect for love and sex. It should not be discriminately done as I always believed and valued. But most of all, I believe people should have some level of decency and some deciphering somewhere!

I was aghast. I found out how fragile friendship or relationships could be in the internet. One or two words read could mean differently from what was intended. One or two paragraphs could have explained but because of two different worlds, time zone and space everything spelled "disaster". I say, take hold of "who you are" in the face of disasters. A click in the internet could provide lots of opportunities not to be wasted unproductively.

I was shocked and troubled, too. But an eye-opener.

Just enjoy the technology. I still believe in the beauty of "communication". I still believe that we should be genuine in interaction. Even in this kind of technology, I believe genuiness can be felt by the recipient.

I am still shy to enter the chat rooms. The feeling is the same when one enters a room full of people and staring at you. So I do not go alone. I go with a friend.

another attempt to poetry

I can see that you are in his heart!
He just have a unique way of expressing,
But every one can see that it is you
who is giving that special beat into that heart!

Several times you tried to forcibly open it
But forcing it open is indeed a very painful thing to do!
Look at your own heart and if you see him there,
Forces will lead you to his heart!

I can see that you are in his mind!
He just have some trouble explaining
but mumbled words say,
what keeps him going on is you!

Have faith that you are his world and life!
Without that faith, love will crumble and distractions will flourish
Hold on to his mistakes
Hold on to both the reason for marriage!

We do not own this life we have!
Marriage is something this society dictates
But hold on to your belief
that it is not the marriage that bonds
but the language of your souls!

Oh it's been a while that I did not write poetry. I really wanted to have my own collection but I am very moody. Well I hope this deserves this posting.

Be blissful!

glazed bliss design by Jaky

When I got the email from Jaky informing me that he is finished with his design for my glazed bliss, I was very excited about it! I was wondering how he conceptualized it? Would it reveal something about me?

And when I finally saw it...I instantly loved it! So simple yet the colors are those that I want to see. It is playful and at the same time reserved in some ways. That's how I look at it.

Thanks Jaky! It is sweet of you!

Be blissful!

crying and feeling great after!

For the longest time, I finished reading “One Hundred Years of Solitude” the novel. I started reading it last November and I do not know what took me so long to finish it, when in fact it is a book that I have longed wanted to read.

Of course, I will not make a review of the book here, but it is my experience while I was reading it that I wanted to write because it is so much like a journey and a hell of a human experience.

I have several times put down that book to give way to some other books. For the past months, I let myself get distracted so many times. The details in the beginning of the story took place during some earliest period in history. Although I find so many things in the past fascinating the struggle seemed to me was forever. I have a short threshold of pain, even while reading.

I brought the book everyday and anywhere I went, but did not seem to have the drive to read it. Come on finish it! But I still chose to get distracted. I asked myself, what are you waiting for? What are you afraid of? Human emotions in the book are so vivid and plenty that I got overwhelmed. But all books have that. I guess, I was in such a vulnerable stage thus I was fighting those emotions and madness in the book. I think that is such a bad attitude while reading. Learning rarely sinks “in” when there is denial.

When I was put in a real struggle with my father’s illness and death, I felt like I had that great urge to read and add more to the pain there was. Oh am I so human? Why should I hurt myself more when I was already bleeding inside? Leave it!

One just really have to confront thy self! Recently when I felt so strangled and lost, I thought it was the best time to finish it. Because the reason for my being lost is something I alone am carrying and the book was an object so conveniently available for me to release one such compelling and heavy emotion, I did finish reading it and shed tears so profusely.

I cried specifically about the last part of the novel. And for another reason, a selfish one - that I have to cry.

“ I have been thinking of the difference between water and the waves on it. Rising, water is still water, falling back it is water, will you give me a hint on how to tell them apart”? by Kabir

Be blissful!

lovingly handcrafted necklace

Last night I was invited to a friend's fund-raising activity. The occasion is for the upcoming "Earth Day". I promised myself (for two years now) not to buy anything that is not necessary. I broke that promise.

The global recession gave me one big lesson - not to spend and if going to - buy Filipino! I always believed that this kind of protectionism could guard a country's economic collapse. Our economy has always been ailing because we tend to buy more imported products when we can also focus our attention to locally made products.

I bought the necklace not because I need it but for the cause. I specially want to help preserve the culture of the Indigenous People here in Mindanao. The Talaandig Community is one!

The necklace is - Proudly Philippine made!

Who made the necklace? The tag says:

"Soil artists of the Talaandig indigenous community of Lantapan, Bukidnon lovingly handcrafted this necklace for you. It is made of clay gathered from the foothills of Mt. Kitanglad, a mountain that has special spiritual and cultural significance for the Talaandig.

By purchasing this necklace, you are helping ensure the physical and cultural survival of the Talaanding community."

Be blissful!

finishing strong

I really have a problem reading all my emails. But checking my account became a hard habit to break since I had it. The kind of expectations I had for the postman to come during those time when I was not into this technology transformed instantly to the feeling of excitement to look at the emails that arrives daily. It is a welcome treat and I do take time to read.

I found one today that was sent weeks ago by a friend. I guess I picked the one that I needed most. And concluded that God knows just when to lift us up!

lighting-up darkness

I am amazed how cruel the world could be in many ways! It just so happens that I am too whimsical that makes me rarely antagonize that nature.

When I am judged, I do get away from doing just the same.

Judging harshly could cause major damages and creates unhealthy feelings. So when I get into trouble and seemed to slip into tormenting thoughts, reading a book lights up this world! In the book, I see and feel "battles" much too painful than what I am going through.

Makes me think too that even with good intentions somehow things could get so harsh and sour. I wish I could heal. I wish I could stand along in "your battle".

There are things I cannot control one is another person's doubt. I just pray that everyone be "healed" and get out of that doubt.

Be blissful!

all about " ten years ago"

"Each friend represents a world in us,
a world possibly not born until they arrive,
and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."

by Anais Nin

Yesterday, I felt extremely happy and sentimental because I spent hours of precious moments with three of my most cherished friends in the whole world. At last, we were gathered.

Ten years ago, we were always together everyday in the office. And for more than two years of both working on a project and the "bonding", we all have developed a deep down-to-earth friendship. I remembered not exactly "adoring" each other at work, but those "roaring" moments were instrumental to each one's character. Yes, there are people who are constantly in our thoughts because of fond and not so fond memories. Sometimes it does not matter anymore because they are the people who greatly influenced most of our decisions in life.

We all separated after the project. Our communication dwindled too. Except for Joel (who is managing a Beijing -based project) whom I constantly chat with. Cynthia and Joy who works here in Davao are the ones I do not see and talk often (the irony!).

I do not know, if this meeting was planned because whenever we plan to meet, schedules seems not to fit at all. This is heaven sent. The day we met!

We always laugh out loud. All of us. We have our standard "LOL" cue when discussing threatening or even life-threatening issues. In fact, we could talk of death, abortion or sex as if we were talking about chocolates, coffee or food.

We all have learned to laugh and accept each others throwing of ridicules, insults and those insensitive innuendos. I do not know how we blend all of that with deep concern and tenderness, but each one of us have directness that only us can throw to each other. Or else, we could kill or shock someone who does not know our way of "care and support".

Culling happiness from oneself and not from other people was a topic that constantly surfaced that night. I have been cuing this lesson from time to time, not only for myself but for everyone. It is not selfishness. If one's foothold of happiness is your husband, wife, children, lover, friends or career, then we could forever be miserable with our lives especially because expectations are often unmet by them.

Triumphs and obstacles were pleasant neutralizers to the food we ate. Hmmmm Chinese and Filipino food, together. At the bar earlier, we had frozen San Mig lights that gave us some release of our stress. Late coffee and tea at Bigby's was the culmination. We did not stop with our never-ending issue-laden lives har har har. I guess, we have gone through a lot. This time around though, our conversations were not just issue-laden but surprisingly with marked sophistication and culture. Not bad!

But nothing beats the hugs and kisses when it was time to say good-bye. Only for that occasion though! I guess, we all saved each other's souls again!

good hands are those that work

I am really amazed at anything man-made because I know they are all crafted not just by good hands but as well as very creative minds. When I was still in school, I love my Humanities subject because I get to understand music, art, architecture, paintings and culture among others. And because of that interest, I was driven to study human thoughts and behavior.

Well, it is just sad that people before were not that appreciative to what we consider now as "masterpieces". We are luckier because as observed there are more venues for expression now and with a higher acceptance level of the people to contemporary music, art, architecture, paintings and technology. Some people even appreciate bombs, missiles and some harmful things created by men.

I am writing this because I feel sad whenever I see people idle. Especially for so many Filipinos who are unemployed. Well, I am not sure how some people could survive without doing something but I do think it is not about lack of opportunity, education or some other issues but more on laziness. I know people who have no education but are really good at carpentry, sewing and other crafts. We can actually allot time to acquire learning. And I believe, we do not have to get employed to contribute to the economy. We just have to go on creating something and we might stumble on a "goldmine" of a creation.

I feel bad to see people limiting themselves. Because a person's imagination is limitless, we only have to take that thought into our hands. Work on it.

I think that is what we need to do for this world in order not to plunge again to recession. We can just work on anything we can do, by the hand or mind. This small contributions could somehow bring about small changes that might create a culture. Why not?

I dream that our people if not good in technology, will produce music, literature and arts that could leave a mark in history. Any contribution will do.

Be blissful!

two birds in the same tree

When I was with my friend at the airport to fetch her husband from an overseas job, all I could see was myself in the very same set-up.

It should really feel good and right to have a husband back at home. Well, a husband serves as the model male figure for the children to look up to, not only as the breadwinner but the man who is "in-charge". A man at home makes those decisions that are crucial not only for the children but as well as the "stability" of the family.

I do not want to spoil any of those good feelings but there is only one thing that many just do not understand, that the frequent "coming and going" of husbands do cause some cycle of tensions in the family.

When my children were much younger, the coming would mean "the imported chocolates and toys" from their father - whom they only knew through the voice from the calls and pictures. And the stories that were shared to them. And this is just hilarious because letting the children go near their father is such a big challenging task that would normally be settled in days or weeks.

In a month, two or more, the family go through the normal family activities that make our bonding closer than ever. We do all things together 24/7 - preparing dinner, eating together, celebrating the missed anniversary, birthdays and other special occasions. And because he do es not have a salary during these months (no work, no pay) this could also be during these days that we also acquire some debts har har har. Anyway, whatever happens during these months seems to be the"fine and normal" family set-up all of us wives could be dreaming of.

When everything seems to be normal, only then that we brace ourselves for something inevitable - the leaving. It would mean "pacifying crying children (because their father has to go) and have to assume everything. Yes, everything.

But I would be feeling a kind of relief too because when he leaves, there will be food on the table, pay for the bills and tuition and other obligations. I would often see my husband restrain his emotions and would tell us, " I have to go and will send you money as soon as possible". Maybe men are made to be strong and emotionally detached for if not, we could all go hungry.

Well, that cycle is my life for the past 25 years.

But, I do not regret having that kind of life though, because I have learned to appreciate the space between me and my husband. I have learned a lot things while he was away and still using that time to improve what there is to "in our relationship".

When he is not around, I become the "father and mother" to my children. I bridge the gap whenever their father is absent. Well, I am not perfect. Got lots of mistakes too. But they are as good as my shadow. They will always be a part of me but only to serve as a reminder to my mistakes. I believe that we always have the time to make it up.

I do not know though, if my friend also thinks that way whenever she comes with me as I fetch my husband from the airport.

Be blissful!

in pursuit of your own bliss

It is fun to have my two teenage sons at home! It is their summer vacation and we decided to stay- put and be home most of the time. They were always busy during summer with outdoor or other summer enhancement activities before and this change seems to be approvingly pleasant to the three of us!

Their activities include time for a book, computer, TV, play station and some chores. When I go out for some errands I bring them along for some joy ride. We have fun teasing each other and checking and minding each others activities.

I think, it gives us opportunity not only to save money for my son's college this coming June but also have time with each other. During school days, our time together (physically) is limited. During the past days, I observed my two sons to forever provoke and argue with each other. But after some time they become loving, once more. I sometimes just shrug my shoulders and smile. When I was a teenager I was not as expressive as my children are. But I am glad that most of the time they tell me what their thoughts are.

When I was younger or even when I was at their age, nobody would know what I was thinking or feeling! Now that I am adult I can see the difference between the two. I grew up having lots of hang-ups! When my children are angry at some point they easily feel good the next minute. I think it is amazing and I probably will not have a hard time telling my children what's on my mind too!

Sometimes I think my lack of material wealth is compensated with my children' s love and concern towards me. But of course, I would still want to attract some wealth in my life (says the law of attraction it is not bad to dream of it).

Having it (material wealth) would be a bonus because of what I have now, the persons who are dear to me and their wealth har har har.

Whenever I am at the verge of getting lonely, I ask myself if I really needed it in my life. I may not be really feeling it but only remembering some bad moments in my past. This is what I do - shrug-it-off and remember to attract bliss, most of the time.

Be blissful! I used to write it in my previous articles and I thought I want to bring it back! Spreading some bliss to everyone is a delight!

too comfortable to sacrifice

It is a quiet Good Friday! An opportune time to reflect on life's course.

I just observed that people tend to cling to treasury bonds, stocks, cash, real estate and others for security. And I also wonder how it feels to shop until I drop without constraint on money. Will I really be very delighted to buy and stock loads of food, clothing, shoes, bags, etc. like it is the end of the world? But I also wonder, how many shoes, bags, houses, cars and money does one person really have to be happy and stable and secure?

Since I was born, I did not have the chance to really splurge on something that I really loved to have. When I have money it should go somewhere else but me. Even if I earned it.

So I do not really know how it feels to have pairs of shoes, tens or dozens of bags, cars, jewelry and other things that make women "very happy". Maybe that would really feel great!

And maybe there is something wrong with me because whenever I see poverty on TV, read about people who are in need, see children begging for food I feel that the most that I could do is "not spend too much" on unnecessary things when there are a lot of people who lives practically on nothing.

The trail's end is unreachable by sight and when we all look too far ahead, we do not realize how important it is to appreciate the life we have at the present. Hordes of money and staggering wealth could be satisfying, but when everything else crumbles in the financial system, that is when we realize all are vulnerable.

But we do not learn much! It is hard to sacrifice! But maybe delaying some gratifications could help us all travel the right path!

I've changed!

When I saw that picture in a local blog, I said to myself that I have to write something about the "hammock". I think most people could relate with me about how this simple thing gives comfort to us all. And not only that, but the ride on it gives us the opportunity to reflect and decide on important matters about our lives. I myself have a history with hammocks. I remember having fun sitting or lying on it. I could have spent lots of time on it during humid days and nights. And has provided me countless of moments to gather strength when I felt alone and afraid.

My hammock which was made of rattan (the local material used for wicker furniture) was durable for it has served us for many years. But there was a day, when it has to go because there was no longer space.

I miss how it gave me the rocking and swaying movement that relaxes me on hot humid days and nights! I have to get another one and find a space for it!

Today, I changed the color of my template. I am glad about it. Change could be unwelcome sometimes. When I was trying to explore changing my template, I came to a point wherein I got disoriented and confused on what I was doing.

I hope the effort has gained something. Yes, I loved the color! And I still love writing! It was just a change of the template but basically I am still me!

jump! but take a look

"Jump, but do take a look".

I heard it mentioned in a movie ( I can't remember the title) but have become a mantra in my life. My mind drifted today to some very bad choices and decisions I have made in life. I do not exactly dwell on such thoughts, but today it stuck on my mind. Maybe I am getting old. But it is not the "getting old thought" that struck me most. It is that, I seemed to attract even the most unwanted person in this planet.

Oh, that is such a bad thought!

Anyway, decisions are like the inviting ocean down a cliff. I, from up above would want that dive of a lifetime! But before doing the plunge, I have all the time to think (twice or more). Then the thought that I made the decision to jump, should be my sole responsibility. Not the ocean, nor the other accessories.

To make myself feel good I read some blogs. I had a lift instantly. I found a video of the Belaggio fountains in my brother's blog but I can't seem to get it. I found one that I am posting . The water from the fountains are so awesome! So powerful with their jump and graceful with their sways! Yes, I have to get over this melancholic mood and do lots of work!

Earlier today, my ever dearest loving sons were so generous of their kisses and hugs. This is what I call one blessed day!

so near yet so far

I have been feeling so delighted lately because of Skpe. Skype gets my recognition and applause because it is the channel wherein I am able to connect with my sister in Minneapolis, Minnesota, brother in Houston, Texas and our youngest brother in Carmona, Cavite. And I am from the southern most tip of the Philippines, Davao City. I don't know how life has scattered us all this way. But I believe that families have each a unique bonding that one can never break or forget - the location is not even an excuse for not "getting in touch".

It is amazing that we get to talk a lot this time and does not worry of the telephone bills that could give us all the shudder if we are paying every minute of our "togetherness". And of course, the thought of having us four simultaneously discussing matters of petty and importance, is indeed a gift.

I guess, the four of us have all other concerns individually but having them around in the confines of my headset, speaker and monitor gives me security. The time zone was not even a discouragement, except for our youngest who is fond of sleeping (but he also works a lot). He just do not stay awake late at night. The busy schedules are not compromised. There are times when we are not complete. But we wait. We schedule. We talk.

The beauty of the technology is the access it has given to all of us. To communicate and have time to see my nieces and nephews grow and progress, my sisters-in-law and brother-in-law take care and love my siblings and what they are all busy and interested about with their lives.

So sad that our mother has not embraced this technology yet. We could have given her the same comfort of having a family so near when everyone else is far.

My father's demise has left us all siblings clinging to each other for comfort. It has been hard for all of us who have to leave our mother alone (but with my eldest son and cousin to take care of her)in her house in Laguna. I guess everyone else have to respect priorities, too. Because we all really have to be back to where we are all based.

I do recognize my siblings effort to keep us all together. I know they are all busy with their workload but willingly give their time for this.

There is an endless possibility of what we could all share in the net. We eat (they have dinner while I have breakfast or the other way around), sing (for everyone's disgrace har har har), mourn (for some upsetting moments in our lives), tease each other, laugh and share hilarious moments together. I sum it all to - giving our relationships some quality moments.

If my father could see us now, he could have been proud of having raised us. Because even with our imperfections, we try hard to keep this family going. We keep on working to improve our relationships and appreciate each other. That is love between siblings, I guess.

This was taken at Starbucks, Sta. Rosa. Our Christmas 2008 together.

playing water in the garden

It is 33 degrees C.

The heat is slowing me down.

Arrggghh! North Korea launched it's missile rocket said the BBC. There is so much "commotion" all around the world, when will this ever stop?

Now, neatly folding clothes and linen on the bed, I glanced on TV and saw the glorious rain forest of Malaysia. Oh, how it looks like my country! It should be refreshing out there! In the middle of the jungle!

Still have to do the car wash and it is 2 p.m. It was the hottest part of the day, I guess. While splashing the vehicle with water, my son was also splashing water to his pet dog and it looks oh so refreshing to me. I said, this is "fun".

I remembered when my kids were still small, we used to play around with the water from the garden hose a lot. And I can't remember when was the last time so, why don't we do it again today?

We did. And for a couple of minutes, we finished bathing our pet, the car wash and we had some dancing and fooling around the garden. The plants got their nourishment too. But most of all, we had a lot of fun for practically no extra expense.

happy in any circumstance

O Lord support us all the day long
until the shadows lengthen
and the evening comes
and the busy world is hushed
and the fever of life is over
and our work is done.
Then in thine mercy grant us a safe lodging
and a holy rest
and peace at the last.
Amen.

That prayer was from the movie I watched last night, "The Cider House Rules". I was so tired yesterday and I thought of ending my day with a movie that could uplift my spirits and make me realize (again and again) that I should not stop recognizing the beauty of life and being alive.

I used to say that prayer every night. Now I am appreciating its content once more.

The orphans in the movie have so much confusion about their identities and anger over their mothers who gave them up for adoption in the institution. They have different stories and were all abandoned. But they are alive, luckier than those fetus being thrown to the fire because their mothers chose abortion.

Mistakes in relationships (including incestuous one in the movie) abound but makes me realize that the "twists and turns" are just a series of short-lived lamenting. I should forever be deriving some strength somewhere. I am not a deeply religious person, but praying proved to be so uplifting especially when I do feel a lot of uncertainties.

But I was thinking that watching or observing anguish from others should not be my motivation to recognize life's blessings. Maybe it is unfair. The anguish I know could be different from what they are experiencing.

I guess, in any circumstance I just have to lead a forgiving, accepting and happy life. Anyway, blessings come in many packages.

I have seen the movie many times in the past. I have also read its book. John Irving is the author. But I am still drawn to watch it again.

even keel

The ship in an even vertical position. So calm and safe.

Back in the island when I was still very young, I only knew one ship that often "come and go". Its name is "Venus" and my only knowledge about it is that it brings passengers to Manila (the capital city of the Philippines).

Well I never really dreamed of traveling in a ship. I just like looking at it as it appears from a distance then makes the splashing of water to the shore faster and turbulent. I just thought that it could be really powerful to have such an effect to the shore, to where I am.

I do not remember how long I stayed always struck with its "coming and going". Until one day I realized I was indeed in that ship. I remembered how uncomfortable I was because of some unruly waves during navigation and when I do not see anything except the sea. I felt alone and drowning. Maybe because we were leaving the island. And I felt sad about leaving my grandmothers.

Venus means "leaving" to me from then on.

Traveling in a ship cost cheaper than an airplane, but I got the chance of appreciating the comforts of it. It is not exactly the type of accommodation one chooses but more because of ones motivation like "looking forward" to a new life in another place. That could be more meaningful than a comfortable cabin.

I also did not realize that I will later on be married to a seafarer. Although I am fascinated with the ocean, I do not exactly like the idea of staying for many days and nights floating over it. My husband does not tell me how many storms they have braved, engine troubles they did overcome and amount of loneliness they endured. But he tells me how great the oceans are! He has crossed all the oceans in the world. And all he tells me is how he enjoys fishing in every port he has gone too. When he comes home and always ask me to drive him to the beach. I know he feels good and safe to be just looking at the sea. Not living in the ship and floating the endless seas for seven months.

Everyday, I give myself minutes of prayer for my husband's safety.

The sea could be the only worst enemy of the ship, I guess. And the weather, too.

involvement to a cause and fun

I am glad I did something different for April Fool's day! I was referring to my recording he he he! I have been thinking of doing it but did not seriously tried until I was inspired to do it. My niece did it for fun and why should I not? My kids were with me as I tried doing it. They were hiding behind the wall.

My family and I were also proud to be a part of the "Earth Hour" activity wherein we switched-off our lights at 8:30 to 9:30 pm last March 28. My kids usually stay up to the wee hours especially that it is their summer vacation but I am glad they were interested and excited with the activity. The Philippines topped all the countries in the world by saving 611 megawatt-hours, as reported. I always give inputs about "environmental concerns" to the children especially with all the catastrophe that this world has been seriously facing. I think as parents we have to show them how important this cause is for them to be able to enjoy our "mother earth". And this global activity, gives our children a chance to get involved in such a small way for a very significant cause globally.

As the financial crisis looms globally too, I also ask the children about getting to activities in the confines of our own home which are also of importance and fun. We can trim our 2 eucalyptus trees, we can do the car wash together, clean the house with gusto, spend time with our pet dog, enjoy our 7 goldfishes in the aquarium, and lots of things to do inside the house. And this is the least that they want to do, Read. I don't know why, but my passion for reading did not get to my children's system. Anyway, I do not get tire of reminding them to get into that habit. They still have time to do it.

Last night I saw from my window one incredible view of the moon! I was not able to capture it but I got a picture from the internet which looks like it. I always believe, there are so many ways the heavens give us to teach "appreciation".

having fun with a cold

I am down with a cold! So I was home the whole day.

And I did something. I tried recording a song at Singsnap. har har har.

My sister (Cristina) and niece (Thea) tried this while we were Skyping the other night. Hmmm we had fun singing together even though my sister was in Minneapolis, my niece in Quezon City and me in Davao City.