Last night, during one of those moments wherein one gets a chance to just sit and talk about "What is happening"?, I actually learned some answers to some difficult matters that I often put aside in my life. I do not have exactly the right terms yet, but maybe as I go along writing I get to catch it somewhere.
My friend and I have both seafarers as husbands. Although I have grown accustomed to such a set-up I sometimes felt that my difficulty will be is - when the time comes that he retires and both of us will be together everyday of our lives. Of course, I should mean positively at all times to attract good energies and omen in our relationship. But until now, I am just amazed at " How did the universe has conspire to bring him to me or bring me to him"?
I was talking to my friend about the million clicks of chances to find a lifetime partner. And when one gets hooked, somewhere in the middle of that relationship, one wonders "What made me choose him"?
I told my friend that I honestly do not know the reason why I fell in love with him. Maybe because he love me. I sensed that a long time ago. And I wanted to be loved during the time we met.
My husband and I are so much poles apart in everything.
He has traveled the whole world. He has gone to places that I really wanted to see in my life. And yet, he does not get my enthusiasm towards those places that he has seen and visited. Or maybe, God has given him to me for I will never be able to reach the places he went. And he is my eyes. Can be.
He has loved me and kept on loving me even when my love for him got ebbed deeply in the oceans several times. I want to die before him. So he would find another woman who could give him the love he deserves. Or maybe, God has given him to me for me to understand love. I sometimes think, he just do not deserve me.
Sometimes I wish I could have been different. But I am different. Where do we meet?
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