nature's call

I was waiting for my son in this book fair in the mall when I saw the book entitled "How to shit in the woods". I thought in some ways it is inspirational for me because when I experienced it recently, it was indeed one horrible and devastating moment in my life.

I think my ass for such a long time only wanted clean toilet seats. It need not be fancy because I can bear public toilets too. I choose.

Anyway the book was just P 35.00. But I did not buy it because I have lots of books at home. I have not even read some of it. I thought I could just write my own version of it he he he.

I remember eating lots of fruits that fateful morning. Only because I do not want heavy meals when driving long trips. And because the fruits in the towns that we passed-by sells really cheap ones I practically had a full stomach of Marang and Bananas. I was happy to reach Trento the last town of Agusan del Sur in only about 2 and 1/2 hours because I will be in Davao in about 2 or 3 more hours.

This is where my stomach seems to growl and twist inside. We went to a family friend but I am sorry that I can't stomach their toilet. I was thinking, I will stop in the nearest gas station anyway. I can still hold it.

Now, when I needed it most (the gas station) it seems to be forever avoiding me. I was perspiring cold. I have to drive slowly when"it" seems to rush out. "Oh my please let me get through in this series of curves and cliffs safely". Gossshhhhhh! This is terrible!

My mom and husband kept telling me that we have to stop somewhere. And every time the attack came, there was a community. "Oh God what did I do today that I deserve this?" And I was asking forgiveness because my mom said "Oh you kept cursing all those dumb drivers, now God is punishing you".

"Oh common Nay, our God is a forgiving one. He will understand what I go through with these dumb drivers. But I promised not to say "bulok" (morons) to them ever again". Just let me release this suffering.

And by the grace from up above, we finally found a spot. A quiet place with lots of tall grasses and trees. I was excited to release it but I need something. I always have wipes inside the vehicle because of its convenience. But before we left home, I decided not to bring it because someone left it open and the wipes went dry.

I opted for the tissue and the alcohol. I was worried though if they are environment-friendly. But because I was in great hurry I said I think "they are".

What worried me is how I would position myself. My husband said "we should not get too far from the highway, it could be dangerous. There are spirits in the forests and they can see us, they might do something to us". He told me to "ask permission".

"Ohhhh shut-up, you do not know what I am feeling" I said, but on second thought I said "tabi-tabi po" (please move coz I am going to use your space!). And my husband was not solved
on what I said. He thought I was not sincere with what I said. "Dear Lord, I was. I just need to release it". I was trembling and holding on to it. "There was no way you can judge my sincerity" I mumbled.

Well, with an umbrella covering my butt on my left side and the tall grasses at my back, I released it mightily. Har har har. My husband was busy talking to the spirits and spitting at our traces.

I did not mind communicating with the spirits, especially after the release. It just feels so much good and relaxing. It feels the same when giving natural birth to a baby. Great!

We have to cover it with some leaves, thanked the spirits and my husband had to "spit" again. It is kind of ritual when you are foreign to a secluded and quiet place.

It was truly embarrassing and gross but I have to bear with it. Sometimes we just have to do crazy things to survive that "nature's call".

Sorry if you found this gross, but when I saw a legitimate reading material about this stuff, I think I have some space for such a topic.