Monday, July 20, 2009

my unique spirituality and faith




This is the church that I always visit! It is the Carmelites Monastery which is about 10 minutes away from our house. I always felt that divine grace is another relevant aspect of well-being. I only have one such big problem! I am not so comfortable in going to the church with a multitude of people around.

Imagine the church above brimming over with people even up to every corner outside. I am not just into it because of my problem concentrating. Yes, in my religion it is Satan distracting me. But I am aware its my neurons bugging me!

I have to concentrate ("Common Maria, make some sacrifices!") but I give-in to distractions like the following: when I hear the people around me talk, gossip and giggle. I turn to the sound of cellphones ringing and way more get distracted when people answer the calls. I cannot concentrate when children play around during the celebration of the mass. And so on and so forth. I often think, I become more of a sinner when I go to church on a Sunday!

There must be a way!

It is really a struggle on my part!

During one of my visits to the church, I asked Him a favor. "I am better-off praising Him" in a silence. I feel His presence and divinity in deep stillness. My mind and spirit is wholly in his Grace in solitude!

I asked this with reverence and seriousness because I believe my God is a loving and forgiving one. I just cannot imagine a Father who would let his children burn in hell because of sins committed.

Of course the Pope, the priests and followers of the Catholic Church will find this ridiculous! I actually "leave that to them"! They can crucify me for this! They can cast that stone unto me!

This my personal view and expression. The only way I become in harmony with my faith. The only path towards my salvation and my connection to my God!

This is a sacrifice that I also do. It is not easy "not to follow" what your Church says!

So help me, God!

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